So you’re engaged, but the idea of a traditional wedding just isn’t sitting right with you? An elopement or a micro wedding might be exactly what you’re dreaming of. Let’s talk a little more about what that means.

Definition of an “Elopement”

Oftentimes when people hear the word “elope” they think of a couple sneaking away to get married in a courthouse in secret, or a drunken Vegas ceremony in front of Elvis. This used to be the meaning of an elopement, but that’s just not the case anymore. A more modern definition of eloping is:

“An Elopement is an intentionally small, intimate, meaningful, and authentic wedding experience that is a true reflection of your relationship where the focus of the day is really about you two”.

Adventure Instead – Maddie Mae

An elopement isn’t running off to get married. An elopement is an intentional wedding celebration, unique to you two as a couple, with your relationship as the main focus. Big weddings are beautiful, but the focus of the day is often more about throwing a good party for your guests than it is about celebrating your decision to spend your lives together. You (the couple) can get a little lost in the chaos of the day. We think you should be the only focus, not just the sponsors’ of the party.

I’m not sure if I should elope, or just have a traditional wedding. Help!

If you’re not sure how you want to get married, here are a few things to think about before you start planning:

1. You’re about to get married, what (besides being married) excites you most about your wedding day?
2. On the same note as above, is anything causing you stress or anxiety?
3. Are you the life of the party? Or are you a little more private, maybe introverted?
4. When you think about the people in your life who’ve gotten you through, supported your relationship with your significant other, and who you’ve relied on, who comes to mind?
5. Do you love adventures and experiences? Or do you prefer things?
6. Have you always pictured getting married somewhere specific? Where is that?
7. What’s the best date / memory you have with your significant other?
8. How would you define your relationship together?

Whew. I know that was a lot of questions, but it’s easy to slip into wedding-planning mode and completely skip thinking about any of these things. Your family and friends (likely) won’t ask you any of the above either, they’re probably also conditioned to expect a “traditional” wedding, just because that’s what everybody does. (spoiler alert: everybody doesn’t)

Here’s your permission: Plan your wedding exactly how YOU and your partner want it. Everyone else’s opinion is just that, their opinion. It doesn’t matter.

Choosing to elope means choosing freedom from expectations and traditions that don’t fit who you are as a couple. It means choosing to plan your wedding in a way that aligns with WHO you are, and what you stand for. It means creating a day that will truly reflect the two of you, and be an amazing experience to kick off your life together.

Eloping means choosing to do what matters most to YOU, not to everyone else.

After going through the questions about, take a couple of minutes to look over your answers with your partner. What stands out? As you think about your answers, does having a traditional wedding excite you, or are you feeling stressed thinking about it? Does eloping sound like it fits you two best?

We’ve decided to elope, now what?

Congratulations! I am so excited for you two to plan your perfect wedding day. I’m not going to get too deep into the “how-to’s” in this blog, but I’ll give you a few tips and next steps.

First of all, just because you decided to elope doesn’t mean you can’t follow some traditions, it just means you get to choose which (if any) you want to do! Still want to get married in a church? Go for it. You don’t have to fill all (or any of) the pews with your guests.

You CAN still invite people to your wedding, even if you’re eloping. Keeping your guest list small (we define it as less than 20 people) just means you can be incredibly intentional about who celebrates your marriage with you. Here’s more permission, in case you need it, you don’t have to invite family if you don’t want to. You can, but you don’t have to.

If you have a wild heart (which we’re guessing is the case, since you’re here), set it free to dream! Plan your wedding ANYWHERE in the world you want, we’ll go with you! It might mean a few more things to figure out logistically, but you’re not doing it alone! (also, you’re not planning a big wedding with hundreds of people, this is SO much simpler.)

We are so excited for you to take the next steps and plan your elopement! You can find tons more resources to help you plan, and decide where you want to elope right here, or just reach out with any questions!

Stay wild. xx